oder
wie das Universum zugunsten seiner Rettung um die Revolutionierung der Gartenarbeit betrogen wurde
George Lucas zugeeignet
Das meiste was man - insofern sich überhaupt etwas in Erfahrung bringen lässt – von dieser Geschichte zu hören bekommt, ist Jedi-Propaganda. Dementsprechend werden die wirklichen Sachverhalte der Gründung des Jedi Ordens den wenigsten Anwesenden bekannt sein.
Und auch mir selbst wären sie ohne Zweifel verborgen geblieben, hätte ich nicht auf einem olowokischen Trödelmarktplanetoiden jenes kuriose Kleinod erstanden.
Dabei handelt es sich two small, reminiscent of a joint interconnected cylinders, almost to the handle of a scissors or pliers, inside which is a small hand in each reactor and a complex of lenses and prisms.
The device is no longer functional and the coils of the reactor are defective largely hand. Nevertheless, to clearly and unambiguously what it was originally negotiated for this device: a laser garden shears.
It is undoubtedly a kind of antique. Certainly several hundred years old. The insectoid, who sold it to me knew about them to not tell. In one of the handle elements, however, is - although almost completely eroded - the name of the manufacturer to recognize: Happy Garden.
I began to know more soon with some research:
The company is a subsidiary of Happy Garden Happy Planet had been GmbH, whose headquarters had been ages ago to 12 in the industrial area of \u200b\u200bthe Wuttke Wagowoden Monde. According to Inter StellarNet the planet has about 200 times since then changed hands and is now a jellyfish Schockfrosterei for chocolates. As for laser
raised garden shears, so did the Happy Planet offshoot, the scanty records of the local industry, according to archives, started about 900 years ago with her Serienpoduktion to this but not three years later once again.
The cause was a patent by the planet Septimus Zongh erhobener Einspruch, den dieser aufgrund eines, vom Vorsitzenden eines neu gegründeten Vereines eingereichten beglaubigten Patentantrages führte. Besagter Verein trug damals noch den wenig wohlklingenden Namen GVJGFRU, „gemeinnützige Vereinigung der Jedi für gemeinschaftliche Freizeitgestaltung und die Rettung des Universums“.
Für die meisten war der Fall klar: Happy Garden hatte versucht, sich einer fremdentwickelten Erfindung zu bemächtigen, um diese zu vermarkten und die eigene Position im Marktsegment Gartenarbeit nachhaltig zu optimieren.
Dabei war die Lasergartenschere, die inzwischen den verkaufsfördernden Namen HappyCut 3000 bekommen hatte, durchaus praktisch. Genau genommen sogar weit practical than the patent of dubious association. For while it easily with the HappyCut the overgrown planet surfaces of Rühling VII and Born resentment would III civilized gardens can make, was the patent of the Jedi - the way, had given the pathetic name Lightsaber - little more than a glowing stick with the one other people could pull one over.
The principle, however, was the same.
And just when was the patent problem. However
refused the manager of Happy Planet, first, to stop production. The laser secateurs was the ultimate device for intergalactic gardening on large and small planets, and was able to be used not only to remove moss from the joints of artificial planet, but also for heating of prepared meals. In short, the unit was the asset of the company that is promised by the thing at least as much as they had previously invested.
Especially as exclusive agreements with the operators of the allotments in Quintasi sector could expect some sales.
Happy Planet had it so arrive at a process.
Over this same process - the documents after the great debacle of EMP in the archives of the squadron federated United jurisdiction are not quite complete - there were many cross-examination, the cut down quite attentive observer process left.
Since there were about the testimony of a young ex-Jedi who left the club due to irreconcilable personal differences, and had founded a little later the Sith camp on Golgoroth nine. According to him, was already in the course of the formation of the association has been thought about, could emphasize what kind of device, the Jedi those fragmentary nature of paramilitary organization. effectively acquire, at that time were several dozen large-caliber guns rotor, after the failed revolution in Delta Happa Happa there needed no more. The fact that each of these guns took three ammunition carriers, they did for the Jedi at a time membership eight comparatively affordable.
It was therefore to find something that satisfies both the aesthetic and practical needs of the society satisfied. Here, finally, a meeting of the club treasurer with the head developer of the company, Happy Garden in a space rockers pub on Bagel IV would have been decisive. During this same meeting, the talkative garden tools developer after three glasses of champagne virgilisischen worm would have presented his opposite proud of the laser prototype garden blueprints.
would be scheduled shortly thereafter at a Jedivereinssitzzung first was probably thinking about it actually, now the happy garden shears in the Laser Guard Belt to lead. This one is, however, concluded that a bunch of men with red-hot shears was threatening only conditional, and therefore it would be better to take the development of the invention in their own hands.
The result would be, was in contrast to the garden shears available in various colors light saber, its acquisition, however, was possible only with a valid membership card Jedi. The accused
profit organization managed during the process, especially through grammatically completely pretentious versions (as they should be perfected later by a certain Master Yoda) and get away with an unusual witness, with a black eye.
Es war im nachhinein offensichtlich, dass der Chefentwickler des Happy Garden Konzerns lediglich versäumt hatte, das Funktionsprinzip des Gerätes zu patentieren. Ebenso offensichtlich war, dass die Jedi es gestohlen hatten. Dennoch sollte es ihnen gelingen, einen Zeugen aufzurufen, der ihnen nachträglich eine vorträgliche Legitimation von allumspannender Bedeutung zuteil werden lassen sollte. Bei diesem Zeugen handelte es sich um den Pressesprecher des Institutes für präkognitiv prognostizierte historische Alternativen, das ehemals staatliche und nunmehr privatisierte Orakel von Pogon Alpha.
Der Mann übermittelte dem Gericht zwei zukünftige Alternativen:
1. Wenn Happy Garden den Prozess gewann, würde die Company in the course of 1000 several hundred years enchanting gardens and parks to create, make inaccessible forest areas of Coruscant to Naboo wegbar, thereby increasing the number of garden accidents by over 700% percent.
second If the Jedi would get right, they would train hard during the next 1000 years, are self-employed and can almost eradicated, and then modified to save the universe.
due mainly two aspects of this forecast the outcome of the process:
saving the universe sounded good, and a 700% increase of garden accidents would have meant countless overtime hours for the court.
In this way it was thus the Jedi, this to obtain process, against all evidence and thus the Happy Planet GmbH, which had set fully to the new product to a subsidiary to focus entirely based.
What followed then was almost clear: The CEO of Happy Planet
beheaded himself with a HappyCut 3000, and the Jedi began to train hard.
I see these developments as a beacon of free market economy, and would therefore prove particularly the three facts that are at the end:
The first fact to today's least-known, that the history of honorable Jedi - their charitable status revoked them the way to a club meeting on the planet brothel Meretrix 5 was - began with the ruin of a medium sized garden equipment manufacturer.
The second, almost as few people realize, is that the greatest revolution in gardening that HappyCut 3000, fell victim to a conspiracy.
Only the latter fact may be deemed to dismiss it as common knowledge:
To date, the garden shears could be a melee weapon is not enforced.
END
© Christian von Aster
www.vonaster.de
